#19 “It’s Over”
Wow. She really doesn’t wanna spill the beans on those socks…
The Monster Under the Bed by Brandon Shane is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License
The Monster Under the Bed
“Embrace your fear.”
She doesn’t even know why?!?! What the hell man?!?!?!?!?!
Oh, she knows why… but she isn’t telling!
Well, that’s a middle finger moment.
Oh no! She’s been discovered by a human and if her bosses find out she’ll be fired. Fortunately for her, Tim’s memories of the evening will be erased in self-defense as a result of seeing his parents foreplaying. She really shouldn’t be worrying.
XD Interesting theory, I must say!
Hm…. Now I not sure if I want to know what she’s doing with his socks…. Maybe she already like him? Doubt it, though.
On the hand, I don’t think Tim will give her out to his parents, specially after an – propably – awkard morning.
Haha, well that’s a refreshing opinion on the matter!
hehehe im not going to spoil it cause ive figured out why she steals them XD this page kinda gave it away for me XD but hey this is awesome so far. keep it up! 😀
did you really figure out, or did you find the original text stories our awesome cartoonist wrote first? Not being judgy here actually curious.
I know that’s how I found out what’s going on. 😉
Oh wait…
hehe no i just found out with my madness XD, its not that hard, you just have to focus on the images themselves, trust me X3
I mean, it seems glaringly obvious to me why she’s doing it… of course, I wrote it. It would be, I hold all the cards!
hehehe you never sees to impress me Brandon XD keep up the good work! im eager to see more!
I don’t like sad monster girl. Bring happy or angry monster girl back.
The only time a sad monster girl is good thing is when they’re in the snow. Heck any girl not just monsters, just ask Piro.
Tim will figure out a way to make it right, don’t you worry about it.
I’m sure he will, though I gotta admit that I think a seeing a sad girl in the snow pic with her would be neat.
In the snow? Well I’ll keep it in mind for someday. Lol
I got here through the fjords. I liked the art, then started reading the old story. I was captivated by the sheer level of cute. I hope you have improved your writing abilities, because while the original story was good, it could still have been better. So far, I am not disappointed.
Speaking of which, I’m still getting caught up in the old story, and aside from punctuation and minor grammar errors, it’s mostly characterization that’s a little awkward. Also, most of the one-liners could have been a little better, although there were a few golden ones mixed in. That said, there are parts where the story could have gone differently, and still be good, or even better. Timmy learning a certain fact earlier on than in the original story could lead to some /very/ interesting developments. Then again, you could change things in their entirety, and psyche out the old readers.
In any case, I can’t wait to see where you take this. Sorry if my review was a little bit critical of the old version of your work- I just want to see you improve upon an already awesome concept.
Heh… I don’t really know how to respond to this.
Well, you’re doing it in comic format now, so the old adage “show, don’t tell” rings doubly true now. Things like posture and facial expressions and subtle social cues are things you should implement now. And already are, now that I think about it. I’d give more specific advice, but that would involve spoilers.
And dammit, I’m doing it again. Sorry, but when something really interests me, I tend to go on and on about it, while trying to figure out more about it. Needless to say, I am your newest fan thus far.
Another thing you could do differently- in the later arcs of the story (no spoilers, I promise), instead of simply changing from one chapter to another, why not have interludes? The slice of life involved in the downtime is something I really liked, and is what drew me to this story in the first place.
Actually, now that I think about it, the later arcs were all rushed, and somewhat poorly depicted, as though you were simply trying to get it all out at once without fleshing it out.
Did you happen to read it over at DA? because that version is actually a first draft, which I have since almost completely re-written large swaths of it and posted it up elsewhere. I also should admit I was largely making it up as I went along.
And while this comic will eventually follow along the lines of the story, I will be expanding greatly on many aspects, such as their childhood and several characters that did not appear until much later will be arriving in a much more timely fashion. I’m glad you’re enjoying my work though, even as deeply as you are analysing it to death in the process! XD
Actually, I read the HF version. And I’m glad you’ll be expanding upon the story so much. I’m already on chapter two of the second series, and looking forward to finishing it up, too.
I’m sorry if I’m being too analytical- I run a quest on SB in order to improve my writing skills, and that’s the sort of thing I tend to do. I also used to beta a Homestuck fanfic my friend wrote on FFDOTNET, so it’s basically something I trained myself to do naturally. You see, I eventually plan to write a novel, and I don’t want to half-ass it as it were, hence why I’m continuously improving my abilities, even if just by analyzing things to death.
Well, I wish you luck man!
Thanks. Also, it’s too bad you never made a third series. [REDACTED] would have been interesting to read about.
Also, I do believe there was a plot hole in the old story- back when [REDACTED] was going through the [SUPER DUPER REDACTED] with [REDACTED], wouldn’t his [OMG WHAT ARE YOU SAYING! REDACTED] have already been brought to light as well?
There are hiding names, and then there are giving away huge plot points between the missing names. Not everyone here knows the story, you know?
DON’T. POST. SPOILERS. PLEASE. Think McFly! X(
And don’t worry, I’ve accounted for that in this version. I’ve accounted for a lot of things in this version. [REDACTED] will be interesting, you’ll just have to wait for that to happen here. Who ever said I don’t have plans, hmm?
YESSS! /That/ is confirmed! And sorry about the spoilers- I figured that by the time it became relevant, nobody would remember the comment because it was silly.
Also, art crit- fully grown Timmy looks a lot like young Timmy, art-wise (this applies to our lovely heroine as well). Mostly, this is because the art style makes his head look bigger than it really is, currently. I know you already said you had something in mind, but aside from making his head smaller, the only other thing I can think of is to make the face longer on his adult self. I really hope to see how you tackle this.
Had a thought- as active as Timmy’s parents are implied to be, I’m surprised he doesn’t have any siblings.
Also, had a funny thought-
[POTENTIAL PLOT BOMB REDACTION]
I have no idea where that came from.
Funny, but potentially spoiler city…. so [REDACTED]. Sorry.
As far as siblings are concerned… ‘it was destiny!’
I read it and remember it but i’ll keep the peace brandon…if you get me a mini goat
*gets you a mini goat* There. Lol
*nuzzles the mini goat* your secret is safe with meh
I MADE A POTDAD WIKIA PAGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do link so we may bask in its glory
It might just be the hair, but the monster girl reminds me so much of Kiel’ndia from Drowtales.
Lol Almost all your references seem to go right by me, I’ve only heard of Drowtales in passing, never actually looked at it. I actually don’t read that many web comics at all.
I looked her up on google… other than the palette being vaguely similar not much else rings true to me. *shrug*
I have no idea what Questing on SB means, though I assume it’s something like Dungeons and Dragons, another game I’ve never played myself.
I’ve heard of Homestuck, but couldn’t tell you a thing about it.
It seems we run in different circles.
I… Do read Homestuck, but I’ve never actually mentioned that here. No idea how that came up. But the accidental reference you just made is unintentionally hilarious (look up “Let me tell you about Homestuck”). And a Quest is basically an interactive fiction, or more commonly, an interactive fanfiction. Basically, the QM presents the readers/players with choices, and the next update is based on the winning vote. Kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure, except majority rules.
And yeah, it’s pretty much just the twin orange ponytails (for younger Kiel, anyways) that made me think that. Man, she is /crazy/. In a good way.
And I’m used to being from a different circle, anyways- it just introduces me to new things to learn about.
Well, you mentioned something about a Homestuck fanfic somethingorother you were involved with. I assumed you must have read the real thing too.
Ah. Yeah, that’s true, didn’t remember mentioning that.
Hmm… What’s your policy on fanfiction or OCs?
“I also used to beta a Homestuck fanfic my friend wrote on FFDOTNET, so it’s basically something I trained myself to do naturally. You see, I eventually plan to write a novel…” – NeoDarklight
Heh, well I’m not making it up or anything, there ya go.
Anyway, as far as fan fiction and OCs are concerned, I really don’t have any policy on them; having never been in the situation before where someone has actually wanted to create something original within a universe of my creation.
Personally, fan fiction I think is fine, as I can easily put a wall between it and an original work. I have sort of dabbled in that myself attempting to write a continuation of the events of FFVII, but abandoned it outright after Advent Children, etc. were announced putting a cramp in my head-canon’s plot progression.
OC’s are another matter entirely, as I’ve long been keen to turn a squinty eye and laugh in derision silently at any character that was blatantly a re-colour of another popular character and dropped into the mix of real, established characters in some fan-wanky scenario.
I’m sure we’ve all seen them out there; you know what I mean.
I’ve never done that myself. To picture that running rampant in my own creation does put a certain, vague, uncomfortable dread in my mind’s eye, thinking of what theoretical characters people might someday attribute to my work. A hundred ‘original’ re-coloured monsters running around doing things in some metaverse based on something I made just seems really, really weird to me.
Oh yeah. The most infamous are the Sonic recolors and the Homestuck Fantrolls, I believe. Fanmade Digimon and Pokemon are next on the list for notoriety, IIRC. Unfortunately, that sort of thing is kind of inevitable if a series is both popular and provides a template for that sort of thing.
And what about OCs within a fanfic setting? Or crossover?
Don’t forget MLP! XD
My god.
Well, whenever I was writing fan fiction I tended to only use established characters, unless it was just some random NPC type character who happened to be in the same room interacting. I don’t personally enjoy seeing fan made characters inserted into already established stuff.
Depends on the crossover really… Aliens and Predator. Freddy vs. Jason, those seem to work. Stuff like say, X-files and MLP… no. Just no. XD
Phase 1. Steal Socks.
Phase 2. ??????
Phase 3. Profit!
Yes I’m making a reference to the underpants Gnomes.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tO5sxLapAts
Lol you’re not the first, not by a long shot. Sorry! XD
Brandon, is there a way to PM you?
Not that I’ve discovered, no. You’ll have to email me, I suppose.
Well you do have a profile on MGU. They could use that.
My next little project is to build a links page for the site, so after that, perhaps!
Cool. Can I get you from this site?
You can find my email by going to my profile, and you can find that by clicking my name where it appears under each page saying ‘uploaded by’, I believe.
I tried, but it returns “Page not found”. It looks like your profile is hidden or something.
Brandon, do you mind sending me your email? I have something to say you privately. As the admin of the site you should be able to see my email. (I don’t want to contact you through Facebook because I don’t want to trust number of my phone to Facebook)